Random Thread

[President John McClane]

That's right -- This is the random thread. Nearly anything goes



Most vampires have the supernatural ability to command others with their gaze. They simply strike a dramatic pose, stare deep into a person’s eyes, and issue a powerful command. This could be to offer their neck, reveal some secret information, or pretend to be a chicken. The victim won’t be able to resist, because their mind will be totally clouded. They can even be made to forget what they’ve seen, useful when the vampire has just killed a room full of people and doesn’t want to have to deal with hunters tracking him down.

It’s not too difficult to defend yourself from the vampire’s piercing stare – you simply need to look in the opposite direction. This may be perceived as rude, however, and you will probably lose status in polite society. There may also be some difficulty in attacking the vampire, since you won’t be able to look directly at him. Mirrors won’t work, since many vampires don’t appear in them. You’ll probably need to use a sort of Marco Polo routine where you shout insults about his parentage and he responds with a vampiric hiss, thereby providing you with knowledge of his current position.

[Kevin MacTaggert]

These vampires are abominations like no other. They have perfect poofy hair and chiseled chins, but their main characteristic is that they’re emo all the time. They’ll sit around and mope for hundreds of years, pining for their lost love or stolen humanity. They’ll then decide to go back to high school for some reason, and focus their sights on a girl with absolutely no personality whatsoever. The emo romance thus begins, with lots of pining looks and painful dialogue and the vampire watching the plain girl while she sleeps, which isn’t creepy at all.

This would be horrifying in itself, but the terror doesn’t stop there. Emo vampires don’t drink blood from humans. They’re “vegetarians”, and only feed from animals (a rarely-seen part of the vegetable kingdom). You might think this is a good thing, but it just seems to make them more whiny. Even worse, these vampires sparkle in sunlight. They don’t burst into flames, or howl in excruciating pain when the light strikes their skin… they sparkle. This apparently makes them incredibly attractive to teenage girls, not to mention thirty-year-old housewives who’ve really let themselves go.

There’s only one possible solution: you have to wipe these vampires out. Don’t let their sad and pouty looks deter you from this noble path, it’s the only sane choice in an increasingly sanity-free world. Stock up on the wooden stakes, get yourself some holy water, and find some plastic explosives if need be. Only when the emo vampires are dead and buried will life as we know it return to normal. We’ll never be able to fully recover from the nightmare they inflicted on us, but we can take it one day at a time, just that, one day at a time.

[Remy LeBeau]

The movie was interesting. It was slightly disappointing since it wasn't the one I really wanted to see. It was still interesting though, especially watching him get hauled off by an air marshall. He managed to be there, but he was somewhat distracted since he had been double booked with a Q&A but he managed to answer a few questions for the patrons. Apparently he's writing a musical. I can't wait to see how that one turns out. Weird subject matter, but weird sells tickets.

[scarletwitch]

[kitty]

Do ya like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles! Do ya like pancakes? Yeah, I like pancakes! ...Pizza ;D and that is my addition to the random thread.

[President John McClane]

Bullseye. though awesome, is not a character you can do method acting for... you know, running around New York killing people with paper clips

[echo]

[/size]

[Remy LeBeau]

"I'll get it!" She walked over to the doors and opened it to come face to face with the pizza boy. She cringed.

"Hi, one meat lovers pizza."

"How much is it?"

He looked down at the receipt, and answered. "14 dollars and 65 cents."

She nodded at him and continued to dig through her purse.

"So, uh, you guys order a lot of pizza."

"Yeah there's a lotta of us here an' we basically live off the stuff."

He laughed, trying to appear cool. "Yeah I sort of figured, but then again who doesn't live off this stuff?"

She handed him the money and smiled. "There ya go, $14.65."

He handed her the pizza, and took the money. "You know, uh...if you ever wanna get together and just hang out, that'd be pretty cool. We could have pizza."

"Uh......well...."

Yes, the pizza guy is back by popular demand! Go ugly pizza guy!!

[President John McClane]

The nature of the zombie plague is such that people don’t necessarily die upon being bitten. They can survive for days, even weeks afterwards, carrying a ticking time bomb inside them that can go off at any time. Many of these infected people will travel to other cities in a frantic attempt to reach their homes and loved ones. Everything will seem normal, or at least as much as can be expected, until then succumb to the inner zombie lurking within and proceed to chomp down on anyone nearby.

Within weeks, all of the major cities will be overrun. New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, all will be filled with hordes of mindless brain eaters. Make sure to have a shotgun on hand, because there’s gonna be plenty of zombies that need killing. A search for a cure may also commence during this time, as the brightest minds in the world combine their resources to combat the zombie threat. Unfortunately, studying zombies require you to have one as your test subject, so it’s quite possible that a lone scientist will get bitten and cause the whole facility to succumb to the plague.

[rogue]

Oh sleepy sleepy sleepy once your sleepy the whole world is awake and crazy and your like a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and their like a noooooooooooooooo but you want them to be a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cause your hyper and all a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and then you realize you suddenly like to say the word a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and you don't know why maybe cause its fun to say a weeeeeeeeeeeeeee and then you see that watching Rogue and Kitty videos are not keeping you awake anymore so once again your all a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the end

.........

a

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Remy LeBeau]

Marvel Comics: Gambit Volume 3 Issue 10

Sek: A-plus for entrance. B-minus for tush.
Gambit: B-minus?
Sek: Tuxes are gorgeous on a guy, but your usual wardrobe is . . . bulging in certain spots.

Andrea Strucker: Looking edible, LeBeau.
Gambit: Pshaw, Andrea, y'always been so subtle.

Sek: How can you fit that much ego into such a thin body?
Gambit: You were th' one who brought up those bulges.

Andreas Strucker: LeBeau? Please remove yourself.
Gambit: Said th' same thing four years ago when I was stuck t' your sister on that velour -
Andreas Strucker: I remember! And I shall make you pay for that incident too! After I have the princess in my grasp...
Gambit: 'Member you mentionin' something about that too, but you were talkin' about Fergie.

[echo]

[/size]

[kitty]

Jerry: Let's find a rock...I mean a big ass rock or maybe something like a cinder block is better. I'll hoist it up and drop it on your face, my buddy. Just before the lights go out you'll see my smile and know you've got a friend with a rock..who cares I mean a big ass rock.

Dave: Or a rope, I've got some quality rope paid for a man whose devoid of hope like you are..my buddy. Michael

Malcom: Um..thats Malcom

Dave: Yeah.. Malcom right. And I won't leave you swinging there, twitching like a fish while you claw the air. I'll grab your feet and pal of mine..I'll pull real hard and SNAP your spinal cord.

Jerry: This world is cold when your alone and they ignore you, but don't kill yourself...

Jerry&&Dave: We'll do it for you..you've got a friend.

Dave: You know I asked a guy once if he mind putting me in a barrel sending me over sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch said? 'Drop dead asshole'. People are pricks..

Jerry: I asked this guy to take his air compressor and drill me with a six inch nail right through the eye..

Dave: What he say?

Jerry: I'm low on nails..

Dave: People are selfish pricks.

Jerry: And another time..now get this, I laid down in front of a steam roller and asked the guy just to proceed, ya know? Business as usual..and just squash me like a bug.

Dave: That's a good way to go Jerry, the ol' bug squash.

Jerry: Ha..yeah..

Dave: Hey we can tie a plastic laundry bag over his head!

Jerry: No..that's a such a wimp suicide.

Malcom: I stuck my finger in a socket once...hehe and it hurt real bad. -pause- But it didn't kill me

Jerry: ....Malcom stay out of this.

Malcom: I've got a friend like Carole King..or was it Carly Simon used to sing? I always get those two confused, but anyway I turned around and suddenly I'm not alone it ain't just me..I'm like a player on the team..

Jerry&Dave: Player on our team..

Malcom: Part of the gang..

Jerry&Dave: Part of the gang..

Malcom: Member of the club..

Jerry: Welcome to the club...

Dave: Oh! Let's get a club!

Jerry: I like the big ass rock..

Dave: Nah, one good swing and I'll clean his clock forever..

Jerry: Let gravity do the work.

Dave: It's a man's way to die Mikey..

Malcom: MALCOM!I've got friends..

Jerry&Dave: Friends who will..love you like a maniac and lead you like a lamb to the railroad track and tie you down..

Malcom: I'VE GOT FRIENDS!

Jerry&Dave: ...or tickle your wrist with a single edge razor or buy you a beer with a drain-o chaser or dump you in the river with a...ROCK

Malcom: A big ass rock

Jerry: -points to a rock- Here's a nice one over here..

Dave: Hey..can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy

Jerry: No Dave..it ain't heavy..-picks up rock- he's my friend..

Dave: Come on! Group hug..-Everybody hugs..rock falls on them..crushing them-

[Remy LeBeau]

Lex: Hey Clark.. Lets go to Krypton.

Clark: -fidgets- K..Krypton? Uh-well-uh-

Lex: Scenic travel, peace and quiet, lots of stars.. You'd feel right at home.

Clark: I.. I don't know. -swallows hard- Don't you think that's a pretty long trip to take for peace and quiet?

Lex: Krypton, Wyoming isn't all that far away. Geeze, no wonder you flunked geography

[kitty]

So if your from Africa..why are you white?

Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

[/blockquote]

[Remy LeBeau]

Things waiters should never say:

10. Sorry, we can't seat you until everyone in your party is here.

9. Hi. This is Mike. I'm going to be training him today, so he'll be following me around.
(Just great! Guess we can forget about dinner and a movie.)

8. "No, that doesn't come with fries."
(And this doesn't come with a tip, either. Raises middle finger)

7. Is Diet Pepsi all right?"
(No, it's not all right. Diet Coke is totally different.)

6. "I haven't tried it, but people say they really like it."
(And just who are these people and why do you trust them?)

​
5. Are you still working on that?
(Yes, and if you touch my plate I will stab your hand with my fork!)

4. Did you save any room for dessert?
(Now that I have the Stomach Compactor 5000, I have room for 3.6 desserts)

3. Wow! You must have been hungry.
(Fuck you.)

2. "You want change?"
(You want a tip?)

1. Sorry, but your credit card was declined. Do you have another you'd like to try?
(No, I don't. It looks like I'm going to decline payment. Have a nice day. -Exits quickly-)

[rogue]

One bottle of pop

Two bottles of pop

Three bottles of pop

Four bottles of pop

Five bottles of pop

And it all fell on the floor..now whose going to clean it up?

Not I said the Cat

Not I said the Hen

Not I said the Duck

Not I said the Moose

Not I said the Snake

Not I said the Goat

Why are the animals talking said the Farmer

Don't know said the Farmer's wife

Don't know said the Farmer's daughter

Don't know said the Farmer's son

I know said the Fish

The End. Moral of the story? The Fish always knows.

[Remy LeBeau]

According to Marvel, Remy's supposed to be able to sing like Hugh Boynton. Don't know who that is? Neither do I, but apparently he's famous enough to have a song on Youtube.



I don't know whether to like it, hate it or be very, very confused. Well, at least I know what to picture in my head if ever Gambit sings in the shower. So.. That's what Gambit sounds like.. Must make for interesting Karaoke parties.

[kitty]

OH MY GOD VOTE FOR ALONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...yes..I am obsessed with this chick and yes this is random so it shall go here >.>

VOTE

[Kevin MacTaggert]

It’s close to midnight, and something evil’s lurking in the dark. Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it. You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes.

It’s dancing zombies!

This type of zombie started to appear in the 1980’s. They look quite normal, at least for the walking dead, but naturally form small groups and start to dance the moment that they hear a catchy beat. This isn’t some old-timey dance number, either. They’ll rapidly swing their arms back and forth and wiggle their hips as they jump forward in unison. One of the zombies might even grab his crotch and make ‘ooh-ooh’ sounds. You’ll be both terrified and mesmerized at the same time.

You’ll be relieved to learn these zombies aren’t that bad to deal with. They spend so much time on their dance numbers that you can usually sneak away and warn the neighbors that zombies are once again plaguing your town. That said, you may want to stick around and watch the show. The synchronized dance numbers are guaranteed to entertain you quite a bit, and pay special attention to the main zombie dressed in red – something tells us that he’s got a big brain-eating future ahead of him.